Vitamin Water Lover Gifts

Sir, do you claim your new vitamin water has negative calories? Weight loss guaranteed. Want some? Just an explanation of how it works. You drink it, you lose weight. Simple. Also, you have to drink it while jogging or exercising vigorously for at least 30 minutes. Does it work for regulators from the Federal Trade Commission? Run away.

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Wine Lady

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

French wine

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

Leak in the fish tank.

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I make it myself!"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"This might surprise you, but not everyone finds the smell of a rain-soaked world invigorating."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Things I've learned...

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"I only need shade for my wine."

A couple sit in front of their RV drinking wine while looking at birds sitting in front of a a small RV in a tree also drink wine.

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

Feast

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"We love each other very much, and we concur on alcohol and coffee. But we're unable to come to an agreement on meat and fish."

Redhead

Scarpia's Palace