Vitamin Buff Pillows

The News in Capsule Form.

Vitamins and Supplements. Do you ever take antioxidants? No, I figure oxidants will happen.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"I told him he should have trained more."

7 brownies worth of exercise.

Medicinal plants

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"....and hold the garlic."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Wall Street...

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

'I could have had a V-8!'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'