Vitamin Buff Pillows

The News in Capsule Form.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Medicinal plants

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"....and hold the garlic."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

Drink it! We've all had to sacrifice our kids for our careers in one way or another... And besides, you need the protein, Rock.

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

'I could have had a V-8!'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."