Visual Merchandiser Gifts

"I dreamed that Ralph Lauren put more stuff in his windows."

Hey, Ernie, you're trying on costumes for the Halloween party! No, I'm finding clothes for my job at the store. I need to fit in the Christmas Decorations there. They've been up for weeks. It's too soon! I don't like decorations going up so early! Cupid's another way I could dress for work. The Valentine's Day decorations are going up right now!

Fashion mannequin.

Dummys for Windows

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

"Look's like a dummy run to me!"

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Science fiction fans on other planets

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

CATCHY NAME

After selling his life story, with movie and merchandising rights, Zorro had a new mark.

Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas

"Hey, Venn - back off! I'm a pie chart."

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

'You should see Mr. Feeney in Room 201, sir -- he's our Vice-President in charge of unwelcome visitors.'

"Here's another song about the merch table t-shirt you'll regret not buying."

"I don't really follow sports. I just like how it looks."

Eye clinic

Frans Hals Visuals.

"With this new attachment your kitty can continue to sleep on the TV!"

Stock photography

'Our motto is, 'We'll do anything to sell a car!' but he really means it.'

Out of a movie theatre and into the retailer's net.

"Before I fire you, I'd like to draw your attention to my new line of merchandise."

'You look like an intelligent man, sir -- how would you like to buy some magic beans?'

The Genius Of Camoflage

"A BCN DBLE CHZBRGR w/ FRYS"

"We may not have fully thought this through."

"I keep telling you, William... you're stacking the cans too high!"

'Football merchandise - replica wives.'

Real firewood - last chance for 30 miles.

"Colin takes brand loyalty very, very seriously!"

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'

'You're in luck, Sir. . . we found the only television in the shop that won't show sports!'