Visual Marketing Aficionados Gifts

Frans Hals Visuals.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Eat Beef

Honesty in retail

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

News for Sale

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

SupermarketAwful Market.

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."