Visual Cue Observer Pillows

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

There are planets where lifeforms are almost human...

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

Trump attempting to pull down the thinker

Abstraction and recognition

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Oculist.

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

'Thirteen'

'I'm sure that once the 'new hire' stigma fades, they'll warm up a bit,,,'

'Good memory. Now turn around and let's try it again. I've put the chart on the opposite wall since your last visit.'

'Would the jerk who just cut in front of the Starbucks line please report to a white discourtesy phone.'

If you can read this, your vision is 2020.

"There was actually a little romance while Jim and I broke up. Our divorce lawyers fell in love."

Clouds in Bath

"This is where his inability to read social cues truly manifests itself."

'Sorry, you'll have to wait - now I have a call...'

People people and the people behind them.

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

'Do we want a box of raisins? Mister, this is Halloween, not audition night at the comedy club!'

Air Billiards

'Ironically, he had vertigo.'

It's that ear again, Pete! Call the police!

"You look a lot like one of us," this guy said. "Are you a Roscoe?"