Visual Communicator Gifts

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

What's an Imax cave?

Direct Marketing...

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"We evolved from asteroids"

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Wordplay: Export.

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Target your message

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'A thousand word report? How many words is that in text message?'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

The next wave

A boy with a camera

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

A mathematical question for you. Do we divide or multiply?

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Hmm. . . Human droppings. . .!"

David Hockney