Visiting The In-laws Gifts

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"She looks just like in your photos."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

Stockwell's day

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"At least our son is marrying a doctor!"

"Mum, Dad... I'd like you to meet my fiance, Goldilocks."

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"He takes after your mother"

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'There'll be a small, temporary tax hike -- I REALLY have to build a mother-in-law room.'

"Friend or foe?"

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'

"My wife is constantly invading my personal space. I think she gets it from her family."