Visiting Cemeteries Pillows

'He'll never hurt anyone again."

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

"I brought my mother along just to tick you off."

She knew you too well. Other side, stupid.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

The last word.

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

'Who are you calling ancient?'

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."

Too Much SOY

The unknown soldier: war grave.

"Will you all please bow your heads for the reading of the menu."

"We never had a 'last conversation,' but if we had, you’d have lost."

'Say, this isn't so bad.'

Productivity and Agriculture.

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

"No skulls, just whatever you can carry home..."

Creepy Delivery.

"I feel like we're drifting apart."

Tombstones with convention name tags

Touch screen for bio.

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

"Will that be all, sir?"

Andy Griffith Tombstone.

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

"First, let me say how much I appreciate your 6-foot social distancing."

An old man sees a grave with a 'Your Name Here' inscription.

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

He was always so sweaty.

'Tomb of the unkown Scottish goalie.'

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

Oakland cemetery: moved!

"He did it my way."

"You're not even listening, are you?!"