Visiting Cemeteries Gifts

'He'll never hurt anyone again."

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

"I brought my mother along just to tick you off."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

The last word.

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

'Who are you calling ancient?'

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."

The unknown soldier: war grave.

Too Much SOY

"Will you all please bow your heads for the reading of the menu."

"We never had a 'last conversation,' but if we had, you’d have lost."

Creepy Delivery.

Tombstones with convention name tags

Productivity and Agriculture.

'Say, this isn't so bad.'

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

"No skulls, just whatever you can carry home..."

"I feel like we're drifting apart."

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

"Will that be all, sir?"

"He did it my way."

"You're not even listening, are you?!"

'Tomb of the unkown Scottish goalie.'

An old man sees a grave with a 'Your Name Here' inscription.

"First, let me say how much I appreciate your 6-foot social distancing."

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

Oakland cemetery: moved!

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

Here lies Rufus J. Tosser. Inventor of the boomerang hand grenade.

He Watched Sports

'He always had to be the center of attention. You staying for the magic show?'

Peace, Perfect Peace. There is now!