Visiting Attractions T-Shirts

Model wilderness

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Paul Klee

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

The Rise of Modern Art

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

"Then what happened?"

Raphael

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

'I didn't know ostriches could swim.'

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser