Visionary Giggler Gifts

'Ye olde optician.'

Clown God

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Get on with it!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Fancy a pint?

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

2pm meet your Creator

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

I am one with stupid.

'If Batman can have a batmobile why can't a snowman...'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

'Whoops!'

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Black Hole Corks

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'