Vision Corrector Gifts

Contacts vs. Glasses

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

'How did you train him so well?'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

"Feels like an elephant trunk...."

The seeing-eye cat.

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

'Make sure they fit straight!'

Guide dog looks at ball that has gone over wall.

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

'Yes, normally, carrots are good for you eyes, but in your case they only increase your sense of smell.'

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...

'Hmm, yes sir, I think we may need to review that quote that I gave you over the phone.'

The Seeing-Eye Squirrel

Seeing eye dog is getting directions for blind man.

Guide dog reading paper over a man's shoulder.

'I'm trained to sniff out trouble, if you know what I mean.'

Myopic Guy with Gun Collection

The importance of having your Is tested.

'Sorry - I was just for Christmas.'

Telescope

Fly Eye Chart

An optimist, a pessimist & an optometrist.

Seeing Eye Dog bumps into pole.

'Honestly, I can't take you anywhere.'

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

Don't worry, I'm not grazing, I'm looking for my contact lens!

"Fixing bad dye jobs was my specialty in cosmetology school. Too bad after all those years, I perfected just one style..."