Virus Trivia Buff Gifts

"...business is booming and we're opening new branches worldwide!"

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

Before the Internet

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Comicron

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Switch on brain

Quiz Night...

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"To save you from destruction I will now wipe out mankind!"

Brown only photocopier sales.

"Just my luck."

The Wiki Man.

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

"I've mutated."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

The Mom quiz show

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

"What's the first letter of the alphabet?"

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

'Encyclopedia? No, we don't need it... My wife thinks she knows everything!'

I heard it disappears if you suck on a rabbit's foot. I heard the virus came from aliens. I heard it's no worse than jock itch. Heard immunity.

John Humphreys

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Academic Jeopardy - "This was Titian's favorite after-dinner dessert."

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

'...no you can't phone a friend!'