Virtual Romance Specialist Pillows

"When I say we met online, I haven't physically seen him yet."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Today's love

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

People told me virtual dating was safe!

'He was taller online!'

"Ooh, this looks nice. Would you like to go for a scroll?"

'George and I met on line!'

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

'Jeremy and I have decided to take our online relationship to a new level - real life.'

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

'Roy proposed to me in an email, but my spam filter rejected it.'

"Todd and I are doing our best to make it work by never meeting in real life."

Valentine's day may be a bit different this year

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

A woman with a laptop

"I'm going to be honest with you, Noah. I've been virtually seeing someone else."

Noah's Ark: "It worked for the others."

"I'm sorry. I thought I'd cancelled my computer dating membership years ago!"

Computer Dating Service: Be Careful What You Wish For!

"I can't tell whether you're gazing into my eyes or checking your e-mail."

Yin/Yang Dating

"Hang on - I've got an app for this..!"

Do you Need a Wife While You're In Chicago

'I don't think we should rush into anything. Let's exchange photos first.'

The first one's my cybersex partner, the other's my bit on the side.

"So, uh, your profile said you oil... what's that all about?"

'Oh, Lenny! Let's not spoil a perfectly good romance by actually meeting.'