Virtual Meeting Navigator Gifts

"I move that next time...we zoom."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

Dog Park Zoom

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

Negative Interest Meeting

"Camera not working."

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

"I'm fine going all zoom."

'Let's begin our meeting. Everybody talk, nobody listen.'

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence,

Production Meeting: Excuses

Female Boss 6

"Okay, well, welcome everyone, to our first annual shareholders' webcast."

"Feel free to hydrate during my presentation."

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

'Your best shot is to whimper outside the door, and see what happens.'

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

"Ain't nobody gonna end a meeting faster than me."

"Ironic, isn't it? I spend one-third of my life asleep, and the other two-thirds pretending to be awake!"

"I can't come back to work at the office, sir. I've forgotten how to drive."

'What's your policy on working from home?'

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'

Zoom Backdrop