Meeting Navigators Gifts

"Feel free to hydrate during my presentation."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

Meeting. 'Meh.'

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Maps to all the corporate trap doors for sale here!

'Let's begin our meeting. Everybody talk, nobody listen.'

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"Just identifying weak members of the herd."

Production Meeting: Excuses

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

'I've survived here by always maintaining my honesty, integrity, and plausible deniability.'

Female Boss 6

"I need a man who will commit."

"My fees are quite high, and yet you say you have little money. I think I'm seeing a conflict of interest here."