Virtual Credential Verifier Gifts

'Those references are from my computer. I have an online degree.'

"It's such a lovely day!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

Negative Interest Meeting

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

Gracebook.

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

The only "fake news" we care about is fake IDs.

Government Interference with Science.

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

"I assume that's a 'not guilty' plea?"

Back to Zoom Savings

'Have you got proof of gender?'

'Oh yes, you need specific credentials to be a town planner.'

'I believe the saying is 'trust but verify,' not 'trust, but what would mother do'.'

Computer is set up to 'Chat with Santa' for children waiting in line.

"I only married him for his blue tick."

"That's the fifth customer this morning - video calling the doctor's surgery because of Covid restrictions."

Joe Biden Articulates His Plan for the Coronavirus

'His sister beat him playing a video game.'

"Hold on. Let me just check my self-worth."

Graduating in the Age of COVID

"Good and bad news I made big bucks today, but it was only in my fantasy stock league."

"You got that many points on a galactic battle? Really? I was beaten by a girl?"

Second united church of the internet: Make Jesus your screen savior

"Hi. I'm John, your date for this evening. I've brought my résumé and letters of recommendation."

Elon Musk Twitter Takeover