Verification Gifts

'I believe the saying is 'trust but verify,' not 'trust, but what would mother do'.'

"It's such a lovely day!"

The Anti-Agent

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Early Piety

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

The Scanner Of Love.

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

A Little Extra

Scarecrows guarding a field

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Death to the Extremists

Moulin Rouge Security

"Beware of Don"

Back in 5 minutes!

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'