Verification Pillows

'I believe the saying is 'trust but verify,' not 'trust, but what would mother do'.'

The Anti-Agent

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

UK border controls relaxed.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Early Piety

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"Beware of Don"

Back in 5 minutes!

Moulin Rouge Security

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."