Vip Lover T-Shirts

King is unable to go to the toilet without a red carpet.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Carpet

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

Football Royalty

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

Heaven Has VIP

Pearly Gates Queue

Pre-selfie, Selfie, Post-selfie.

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

'Oh, don't fuss over little old me!'

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

Celebrity Gold

Snail Red Carpet

Entourage to a lesser dignitary.

"No need to bust a gut, sir, this is a celebrity gym. . . I'll get someone to come over and touch those toes for you."

Surf fan.

Cut out and keep your own Bouncer.

'If you would like to check out the electricity meter it's in that cupboard over there with the mops and hoover.'

"Must be a really good deep trance night."

Limousine Replacement Service

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."

The Great and the Good.

Hand over the purse or the bouffant gets it!

'The perks are terrific. We have a VIP-lounge for investment bankers.'