Vip Enthusiast T-Shirts

Woman with unfinished red carpet as VIP begins to walk down it

'Dunno who he is, but he's got some influence here...'

Pearly Gates Queue

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher. Lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses."

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Airplane

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

Football Royalty

Heaven Has VIP

"Talk about ticking all the boxes - lust, anger, greed, envy, price, gluttony and sloth."

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

Celebrity Gold

Father Tim is enjoying the new normal a bit too much.

"No need to bust a gut, sir, this is a celebrity gym. . . I'll get someone to come over and touch those toes for you."

'If you would like to check out the electricity meter it's in that cupboard over there with the mops and hoover.'

Entourage to a lesser dignitary.

Snail Red Carpet

"I've got 200,000 Facebook followers, but not one real friend..."

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

Hoyt Group: Gluttony, lust, sloth, envy, pride, anger & greed-management.

Limousine Replacement Service

"I'm taking you off smoking and putting you on drinking."

"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."

How am I supposed to convince people to join our new loyalty rewards program for $9.95 a month? The program doesn't offer any actual rewards. The key to these programs is they make people feel special. Watch. Would you like to join our exclusive VIP Premier Exclusive Best Customer Reward Program? Or would you rather feel left out and scorned as a loser? Impossible dilemma.

The Great and the Good.

'The perks are terrific. We have a VIP-lounge for investment bankers.'

'Maybe we shouldn't have kicked all our bad habits.'

Rolling out the red carpet.

Red carpet treatment