Vintage Technology Fan Gifts

'Do you want to hear my new ring tone?'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

"It's not outdated - it's retro."

For the War Inventions Board. The Blow-bomb for Extinguishing the Fuses of Zeppelin Bombs.

R.J. Dolan's funniest answering machine messages next to his grave.

'Why use a computer when twenty girls like her can do the same amount of work?'

Mobile phones overtake landlines.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Best before 65 million BC.

Time Machine Collision

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

Drive in movies.

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Adult Barbershop

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"Can't fix the WiFi? How times flies! Seems only yesterday you couldn't program the VCR!"

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Really Early Vikings

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"It appears you have a virus."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

Man with candle in thought bubble, "Ideas before Edison"

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

Pinochio's Computer

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

'Confusion some years before the invention of the axle.'

'Santa thinks desktops will come back.'

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

'I'm worried. All he does is DOS all day.'