Vintage Quirk Gifts

Dirty Old Man

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Football Crazy strip six

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"We've invented a new quantum microchip and at the same time we haven't."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Real Estate Personals

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'He's dyslexic!'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

What's Their Secret?

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

'What's wrong with you?'

Jack and the Beanie stock.

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

"I see you've brought your own bag."

Mash-test Dummies.

Patron Saint of Clowns...St. Pie-us

River Source

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

So, do you have any hidden talents?

He's not going to say anything. He just likes to lick his glove.

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

"I suppose it does him credit - he never was big on facing reality."

"I always seem to attract nutters."

"Dave is clearly the man for the job - he's smart, creative, insightful and has an endearing habit of talking about himself in the 3rd person."

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

Peg Party.