Collector Of Quirks Gifts

"He married her for her stuff."

Jack and the Beanie stock.

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

"I suppose it does him credit - he never was big on facing reality."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Toadstools

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Piranhaclaus

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Raincloud Umbrella

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I got a swiss army hook!"

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."