Quirky Collectors Gifts

"You look tired. Have you been sawing another woman?"

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'Tell him we'll pay his asking price if the goose stays.'

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Lawrence never goes anywhere without his ecosystem."

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

'Have you noticed there are more foot fetishists around today than usual?'

'We like to stick with the old tried and tested method of banking.'

Surgical Keepsakes of the Anderson Family: Family have kept their milk teeth, kidneys stones, etc, in display jars. The family dog has his testicles in a jar.

"Everyone just follow me. I'll lead the way."

Flagrant foul - $5

'Kevin!' 'Eric! Long time no see!'

"This is Fred's gallstone, and this is Muffy's hairball."

Authenticating an antique

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"Each person sees himself as a uniquely precious miracle of life but honestly, to me they all taste like chicken."

"Don't admire anything. He might give it to you."

Sherlock Holmes and the case of the missing cocaine

'Hey! Mellow out you idiots - This is supposed to be a still life!'

Vincent Van Gogh's family reunion Family members with ears missing or bandaged up

Penknife catching baby penknife.

The Eternal Optimist: Smiley Face grocery bag in the garbage, saying, 'Thank You'.

'Of course, the car shower is optional.'

Decadence

Trying to get a TV reception from a bald head.

Black Forest Collectibles.

Chicken clucking "Buck,Buck,Buck" robbing a man

Toadstools

Fish Fishing for Fish Food

Crystal Ball Plug

A pot holder.

The New Normal? Factory Firect Bath Tissue: Now by the sheet

Life in the Time of Coronavirus. . .

Absentmindedness Is Us: Home of that little thingumajig whose name you can never remember.

Vampire afternoon tea.