Collector Of Quirks T-Shirts

"He married her for her stuff."

Jack and the Beanie stock.

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

"I suppose it does him credit - he never was big on facing reality."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Toadstools

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Duck Hunt

Raincloud Umbrella

Piranhaclaus

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Early cyborg.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Best before 65 million BC.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Two circus clowns see each other dressed for a costume party.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'