Vintage Linguist Gifts

'Remember when we referred to a good thing as being 'swell' instead of 'cool'?'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'Dr Johnson, it's very interstyng, but ov wat use is this Dicshunry of yors?'

"Carpe pizza"

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Mr Micawber Delivers some Valedictory Remarks

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

Overly wordy travel.

Gunswinger

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

Simultaneous translation.

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

"I'm home deer!"

It's a shared responsibility... you're not right and I'm not wrong.

Not what he meant.

'How come it's always me who has his name taken?'

"Yes, I said that a man should be able to show his emotions but..."

"When was this license issued?"

Thatcher's child

'What really bugs me, is that we could be a cute couple, if it weren't for you.'

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"