Vintage Chat Enthusiast Gifts

"So, when you were a kid, you didn't have cell phones? How'd you talk to your friends?"

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

Woman on the phone.

Before social media there was sticky notes.

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

'I just got off the phone with my long-time writing partner who's bringing over my deathbed confessional masterpiece. In the meantime, who's up for some idle chit-chat? How about all this rain we've been getting, huh?!"

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'For a romantic anniversary I thought we'd go back to where we first met.'

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

Airport Literature

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

Hello, Rolf? This is Cecily. I was going to break up with you either on Twitter or Facebook, but my girlfriends told me I should be brave enough and do it the old-fashioned: over the telephone. ! !

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

'Mommy and Daddy met on a social networking site. . .'

parrot can't stand small squawk

Ballot Boxes and Smoke Signals

7th Monkey Business Conference: 'Thanks, but I don't need the microphone: I'm a howler monkey...'

'...Hi. Just called to say I ate a bag of chips.'

Rudy, may I have a word with you? Bite me, old coot. I beg your pardon. You can talk to me that way when you've fought a world war, survived a depression and figured out directions to someone's house without help form your mephone!!! iPhone! Potato!! Tomato!! An auspicious start to the peace process.

"Stop bleating, it's all ewe,ewe,ewe!"

"Quick, let me through. I'm a gossip."

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'

Don't you think that we raised the telephone charges little too much?