Vintage Auto Aficionado Gifts

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

Cats on Board.

"What old school? This is my life."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

You had me at vintage.

'Man...You age great!'

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Antiques

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'They don't make cars like they used to.'

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

Route 666

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

It's great for pulling the birds!

Inflating Boobs.

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Thirty years from now, this will seem terribly quaint and awash in charming period detail.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Old West Bounty Hunter.

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"