Old Car Aficionado Gifts

Faulty car.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

"What old school? This is my life."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Do you buy cars here?"

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Inflating Boobs.

Route 666

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

It's great for pulling the birds!

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

Smile

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"