Vin Rouge Virtuoso T-Shirts

'You know you should look for another hobby, when your homemade white wines are darker than your reds.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Daredevil on pc when doing stunt.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Wino Appreciation Group

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Writer

Poetry repairman

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."