Villain Vibe Appreciator Pillows

'Oooh, looks like the welcome wagon is on its way!'

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

Scarpia from Tosca

The Old Time Television Channel

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

More Pardons

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."

"He's So Your Type."

Easter Bonnet

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Lee Van Cleef

'Dang, it looks like they have found out about my plan to take over the world...'

Birth of Darth Vader

Advantages of being bald # 3 - Evil villain movie parts.

Caped Character

"I feel more quaint than wicked."

Let's call a truce for the new year. I'm tired of treating you like you're my count Dooku. Your what? My Hannibal Lecter? Your whom? My Khan? My Gargamel? My Lex Luthor? My Goldfinger? My Endora? I have no idea what you're talking about. Just how ancient are you, Dooku? That's personal! On both counts! ... "Both counts"?

"And it's a hybrid. It can run on either high octane gasoline or the tears of your enemies!"

"These things work better if you don't explain the plot."

Laugh, Live, Love, Loathe

"I hate finding billing codes for this guy..."

"Here you are - Two house martinis, humanely poured!"

"Honey, I'm going to need on of those kid menus."

"Well Mr Blofeld, it's gonna be a tricky job - especially the 100 metre, piranha-infested water tank..."

The Epsom Derby - Beer Stall

Edgar Allan Poe almost ruins his public persona.

"There just aren't any good parts."

"You've been listening to the mellow sound of Station EZZZ."

'Another tall, cold one?'

Actually, we're not looking for an evil genius right now.

Evil Queen

"Besides talking for too long after capturing the hero, what would you say is your greatest weakness?"

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."