Village Elder Gifts

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

Prize vegetables.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Country Bumpkin.

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Abstract expressionist face painting.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

Developers at small African village.

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

A sign in a small town reads "Entering historic Brookfield - A quaint fishing village with a parking problem".

"You are taking the responsibility as an elder to shepherd the flock a little too serious."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

Entering Clogsted.

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

'That be the village sane person,sir!'

Ageing Population

To protest the lousy food at the nursing home, the guys, just like back in the day, staged a 'sit-in'. Unfortunately, nobody noticed.

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

The Pillory: Thief, Gossip, Adulterer.

Elderly religious cleric takes stair lift up the temple.

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

Boomer Emojis

Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I - Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts.

When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history. You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses. What's that mean? Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity ... even its identity. The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history. (Yawn) Old people talk a lot. What I'm saying is, you were not my first "Rudy Park," and

"By our estimates, it's going to take two villages to raise Joey."

Plunder Local.