Vigilante Fixer Gifts

Zorro repairs his trousers.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Nun confronts mugger.

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

A footballer is having an eye test.

"Not only a great painter but a pioneer in promoting the awareness of self-harming."

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

'Mom, the only thing I don't like about this job is the screen saver.'

Monster in optician.

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

The Marks of Zorro

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

What a hypochondriac --- He's always turning on his "check engine" light!

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"

'Sir, what is the matter?' - 'New contact lenses.'

Cat's 'To Do' list.

Masked intruder

'I'm seeing double.'