Vigilante Fixer T-Shirts

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Nun confronts mugger.

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"Not only a great painter but a pioneer in promoting the awareness of self-harming."

A footballer is having an eye test.

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

'Mom, the only thing I don't like about this job is the screen saver.'

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

Monster in optician.

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

The Marks of Zorro

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

'Sir, what is the matter?' - 'New contact lenses.'

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"

Cat's 'To Do' list.

Masked intruder

"Okay punk, make my day"

"B.1.1.529!"