Vigilante Videographer Gifts

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

Nun confronts mugger.

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

A footballer is having an eye test.

"Not only a great painter but a pioneer in promoting the awareness of self-harming."

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

"This one is for hacking into our enemy's hacks."

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

'Miss Figgs, as your Headmaster I feel it only fair to warn you that your exam marking is under investigation!'

'Mom, the only thing I don't like about this job is the screen saver.'

"I realize Kyle was looking at your answers, but that doesn't mean you can sue him for theft of intellectual property."

"Jessica could you call Tech Support and ask when the lazer was last calibrated please?"

Monster in optician.

Computer Crimes

The Marks of Zorro

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"