Vision Vigilante Gifts

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

Monster in optician.

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

A footballer is having an eye test.

'Mom, the only thing I don't like about this job is the screen saver.'

'I'm seeing double.'

'Sir, what is the matter?' - 'New contact lenses.'

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

Scarecrows guarding a field

You can relax now.

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'No cheating'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

Guns won't help

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'Maybe we can rob Peter AND Paul.'

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."

"Not only a great painter but a pioneer in promoting the awareness of self-harming."