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'No, no, no. I never said you'd be next to a window. I said you'd be able to see the mountains from your desk.'

For Sale: Water Views.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

The Zoo.

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Diner.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Victor Hugo

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Rose Garden

'Echo Tourism'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Mikado

A Macaroni in 1772

'Yak, yak, yak.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Labor Day Flowers

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'Projectile painting.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."