Video Store Clerk T-Shirts

Video Rentals Sales. Do you have movies about robots and computers? The chip flicks are over there!

'With every DVD you get a free newspaper!'

'Dirty, lesbian, whore, bitch, gang bangs turned out to be Finding Nemo!'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

"If we ain't got it, it ain't worth watching"

'I'm sorry I don't date during sweeps week.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"The DVD you want is on my right earlobe."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

University Book Store.

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Videos. Classics. DVD. Blu-Ray. No, Ernie, "Jason and the Argonauts" is not about fans of the movie "Argo."

'Do you have any duck tape?'

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"

Book Store. Information. In what section would I find guides to government regulations? "Books on Red Tape".

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"