Dvd Store Clerk T-Shirts

'Do you have 'Buns of Steel'?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

University Book Store.

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

How much would you take off for cash?

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Book Store. Information. In what section would I find guides to government regulations? "Books on Red Tape".

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"