Video Game Strategist Gifts

"I know how to divide, but want to learn how to divide and conquer."

It's my turn to put you under electronic surveillance. Cops-n-Robbers-n-Identity Thieves-n-Corporate Investigators.

Rudy, please help me distract level 2 of my video game. Distract? I have no problem with level 1. But as soon as I get past it. I face this super-powerful monster. I can't defeat it. It's so mean, and ... oh no, here it comes! Where? No more playing or talking about video games. Go outside and do something real! I'll never make it to level 3. You'll never make it to your teens.

"Boss... I need to take a few months off for paternity leave."

Discussion of foreign policy.

Kim Jong Il

"I'd estimate it takes 6 hours of teaching to counteract 2 hours of video games!"

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

Personal conker trainer.

Hockey Season.

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

Tic-tac-toe

Target your message

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I think they're up to something.'

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

The commentators want to run the officials...

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

Model Nato Afghanistan Army

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

"Any ideas on how to convince the public that we're cute?"

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Accidental Invention of the Pole Vault

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Meetings and Conventions - Warfare

Existential Risk