Veterinary Jokester Gifts

'No I'm going to do this one standing.

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

Patient charts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

Casey's Veterinarian Clinic and Taxidermy 'Either way you'll get your pet back.'

"I'm not really a doctor. I'm a placebo."

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'

'How's the new pacemaker.'

'Don't worry, it's just the anaesthetic...'