Veterinary Jokester Gifts

'No I'm going to do this one standing.

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory'

Patient charts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

"I wasn't dead yet."

'How's the new pacemaker.'

'One of the side effects of this medication is it gives people the urge to operate heavy machinery.'

"I'm not really a doctor. I'm a placebo."

Casey's Veterinarian Clinic and Taxidermy 'Either way you'll get your pet back.'

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'