Vertigo Victor T-Shirts

"Just to be clear, this is a hike, not a ‘walk.’"

'Luckily, I've got pills against my fear of heights!'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

Queen of Quinoa

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

Pumpkin Time!

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

The Toilet of Helen - For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

"By the time we go in, I'll be too old for a pediatrician."

Prize Winning Potato - Champion Chips

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

"We've had our vaccine shots and our flu shots. So to round things off, we'll have a couple of tequila shots!"

There's a slight risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid... Listen,headaches gave me these wrinkles in the first place!

'Get down off there, you silly little boy.'

'Neat! Which ones are the bad guys?'

'Ah, the new pocket plaque's arrived.'

"From now on we will name you Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Delta!"

'What do we win if we get it right?'

'Your honor, I believe the jury has reached a verdict!'

COVID SOS

Swine Flu Vaccine Too Late.

No Vaccination

"I can't sleep. I think I'll get up and solve all my problems."

"Just shout if you need my attention. Don’t tug on the rope."

Dear Santa, Sorry for the veggies. . . Mom has us all on a health kick. love Saratt.

'His sister beat him playing a video game.'

'Melvin, you have so much lead in your pants you don't need an apron....

Phobias - Vertigo Books on the Top Shelf.

Conquering Fear of Heights Championships

'Doing fine, thanks. I've narrowed it down to one of these.'