Vertigo Victor Gifts

"Just to be clear, this is a hike, not a ‘walk.’"

'Luckily, I've got pills against my fear of heights!'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

Queen of Quinoa

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

Pumpkin Time!

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

The Toilet of Helen - For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

"By the time we go in, I'll be too old for a pediatrician."

Prize Winning Potato - Champion Chips

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

"We've had our vaccine shots and our flu shots. So to round things off, we'll have a couple of tequila shots!"

'Neat! Which ones are the bad guys?'

'Ah, the new pocket plaque's arrived.'

There's a slight risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid... Listen,headaches gave me these wrinkles in the first place!

Giant Leek

'Get down off there, you silly little boy.'

'What do we win if we get it right?'

"From now on we will name you Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Delta!"

COVID SOS

Dear Santa, Sorry for the veggies. . . Mom has us all on a health kick. love Saratt.

'Your honor, I believe the jury has reached a verdict!'

"Just shout if you need my attention. Don’t tug on the rope."

No Vaccination

"I can't sleep. I think I'll get up and solve all my problems."

Swine Flu Vaccine Too Late.

'His sister beat him playing a video game.'

'Melvin, you have so much lead in your pants you don't need an apron....

"You got that many points on a galactic battle? Really? I was beaten by a girl?"

Conquering Fear of Heights Championships