Verbal Sparring Gifts

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

Department de Philosophie

'Them's fightin' tweets!'

Cockfight of words

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

Theoresentful

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'

'What do you mean, 'you can read me like a book'? You've never read a book!'

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

Sharp Tongue.

Chi Kick

"You got him running scared, kid. He thinks he might actually kill you."

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

'Can't we have just one conversation without you getting so defensive'

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

You ought to be in the funny papers, counselor. That was yet another hilarious objection. Overruled, of course.

'I say, Addison

Historians' Tiff

"In this corner, a man who describes everything as 'Orwellian.' And in this corner, a guy who loves saying 'Kafka-esque!'"

World Ping-Pong Federation.

Boxing.

At the international middle-weight dissing championships.

'Fine, thank you. And how are you?'

"Uh oh, Mongrel is subbing in a British voice talent to deliver understated but devastating put-downs."