Verbal Sparring Enthusiast Gifts

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'I say, Addison

'What do you mean, 'you can read me like a book'? You've never read a book!'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Department de Philosophie

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'

Bar bouncer resumes.

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

'At the Spoonerism cafe...' 'Ah - here comes my carrots and peas.'

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

Sharp Tongue.

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

Chi Kick

World Ping-Pong Federation.

"You have defamed me, sir. I challenge you to a cage fight in Las Vegas!"

"In this corner, a man who describes everything as 'Orwellian.' And in this corner, a guy who loves saying 'Kafka-esque!'"

Historians' Tiff

'I think his hand's getting sore.'

'The guy on the right seems pretty confident.'

Boxing.