Venomous Vocabulary Enthusiast Gifts

Snake, typing letter.

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"I found out why we study vocabulary. Last night, my mother told me to ruminate, and I spent three hours in my room."

"What's another word for 'thesaurus'?"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

"Sometimes, occasionally, from time to time, now and then, periodically I wish I'd never been given this Thesaurus."

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

"Roaches, rats, mice, fleas, silverfish… we're all the family of vermin."

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

Simultaneous translation.

"I procure considerable gratification from belles-lettres."

Wordplay: Mind Games.

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

What Is Joe Biden Thinking When He Uses Words like Malarkey?

'These literary duels really are most frightfully dull.'

We leave grandpa alone until he finishes his cussword puzzle.

"My client can't help his verbal obfuscation. He's suffering from straightforwardness dysfunctionality."

"Spell "orange." "The fruit or the colour, Miss?"

'We don't seem to be doing well in the foreign beverage market. However, due to a mistranslation of our slogan we've become the leading international provider of embalming fluid.'

Dictionary Publishing Inc. May I have a word with you?

'The best the grotty magus could do was produce a footy pagurid.'

'Mail' and 'Femail' mailbags.

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

'It's the longest known palindrome in English.'

Them's fightin' words, mister

My digital assistant device hears things in my house and then targeted ads are sent to me, but it seems like there are still some bugs in the system. I can explain it, Frank, you're always talking about golf. The device hears "tee" and get ads for "tea." When the golf pros are on TV I get ads for cars and pet shopts. That's because the device repeatedly hears "long drive" and "birdie." Then when I talk about my playing golf, I get ads for knives and fishing equipment. Of course! The devi

"Thank you, Slightly More Correct Wording Man!!"

'Shroffing the piefort proved it was a fido.'

'Es-yay. E's-hay ere-hay ight-ray ow-nay and-ay e-hay oesn't-day uspect-say a ing-thay!'

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'