Vocab Enthusiasts Gifts

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"I found out why we study vocabulary. Last night, my mother told me to ruminate, and I spent three hours in my room."

"What's another word for 'thesaurus'?"

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"Don't forget to call it a 'procedure'—it makes it less scary."

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

"Sometimes, occasionally, from time to time, now and then, periodically I wish I'd never been given this Thesaurus."

Male On Sunday

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

'English is their second language.'

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

We hadn't realised your body language was French....

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

Now that we've invented language, we have to be careful not to get quoted out of context.

"I procure considerable gratification from belles-lettres."

"Dad, I know what opprobrium means." "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'

Obedience School Spelling Bee

Wordplay: Mind Games.

"My client can't help his verbal obfuscation. He's suffering from straightforwardness dysfunctionality."

'Today I learned a little grammar in the classroom and LOTS of vocabulary on the playground!'

"Yes Spooner, I said 'pool party'."