Venomous Vocabulary Enthusiast Pillows

Snake, typing letter.

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"I found out why we study vocabulary. Last night, my mother told me to ruminate, and I spent three hours in my room."

"What's another word for 'thesaurus'?"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"Sometimes, occasionally, from time to time, now and then, periodically I wish I'd never been given this Thesaurus."

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

"Roaches, rats, mice, fleas, silverfish… we're all the family of vermin."

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

Simultaneous translation.

"I procure considerable gratification from belles-lettres."

'These literary duels really are most frightfully dull.'

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

Wordplay: Mind Games.

"My client can't help his verbal obfuscation. He's suffering from straightforwardness dysfunctionality."

"Spell "orange." "The fruit or the colour, Miss?"

'We don't seem to be doing well in the foreign beverage market. However, due to a mistranslation of our slogan we've become the leading international provider of embalming fluid.'

'The best the grotty magus could do was produce a footy pagurid.'

'It's the longest known palindrome in English.'

'Mail' and 'Femail' mailbags.

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

"Thank you, Slightly More Correct Wording Man!!"

'Somebody slipped a tranq in the rani's twanky.'

'A cenacle is no place to be zaftig.'

'Es-yay. E's-hay ere-hay ight-ray ow-nay and-ay e-hay oesn't-day uspect-say a ing-thay!'

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'