Vending Virtuoso Gifts

'It won't take bitcoins.'

Vendo Tree.

Vending machines read: Snacks/Coffee/Stare out the window.

Insert bills facing up.

Honest Vending

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Whine and cheezed party."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

Writer

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Poetry repairman

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

Writer Blinds Shakespeare in Shame.

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Dante Alighieri

'I lost my shoe, but I got my foot in the door.'

"You've got to give Hunter top marks for presentation."

"It's the poet in him trying to get out."

'Every time I manage to learn the second verse of a song, I forget the first one.'

Emily Dickinson

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."